Thursday, May 25, 2006
ok.i am back.after 1 month?maybe more.it's time this blog is updated.hmm.so nothing much happened actually.reason why i didn't update?very simple.i was lazy,too tired,had too much homework,too much common tests and my mid-year.so shit.but it is all over now.one more day to the june holis.
i have already forgotten what happened in the past month,so please don't ask me anything about it.ok.then let us talk about today.it was fine,i guess.well,what can you expect?yes i am going to rant about today,so please bear with me.it is not an easy job being me.
ok.let's just skip to the part where me,jas and xinyi went out to mac to sit and talk.i think it was nice.once in a while doing this kind of thing.although it wasn't starbucks or coffee bean,but i guess mac was good.well,we did have a good talk right?i don't know.xinyi was feeling down and i had no idea how to cheer her up.so sad.i felt like crying together with her.in mac?not exactly the place i want to cry in.anyway i didn't.
then we started talking about boys carrying purple bags.THEY ARE NOT GAYS!i think it takes courage.ya.NICE.and then we talked about if we are in a relationship,would we take it seriously or would we just take it lightly.hmm.i don't know.you think i know?lol.then after that i don't know how it ended up with me hating alot of people.that's what xinyi told me.then when i got home,i kept thinking about it,do i really hate that much people?hmm.i have no idea.i think maybe i do,maybe i don't?what am i suppose to think?
hmm,then i thought about it.if someone is going to take away your friends am i suppose to turn around smile and say,"thanks for taking away my friends and leave me alone like this.i am forever thankful to you."am i suppose to say that?JUST SCREW THAT.that is why i hate them.i don't hate people because they are ugly,stupid or whatsoever.you know what.my life sucks.my life is unfair to the utermost and what do you want me to do?smile and get on with my stupid life?i can't do that.i am human,i am vulnerable.i cry.i feel hurt.i am HUMAN.i ain't GOD.of course i feel left out.o,just SCREW that as well.then this thought came to my mind again.leave singapore.and damm it i am going to do that.after o's.i am going to finish jc and then i will say byebye to singapore.i can't find anyone to be good friends with and it is not getting easy.i don't want to be someone's spare tire,who only comes to me when he/she needs company from me.needs a friend.i don't need that kind of friends.
i shall just spend my life to reading,studying and dancing.you know what.i can't take this anymore.the only friends i think i have that i can talk to are my close church friends and my dancers co.sighs.quite pathetic.no real friends in school.that's quite a sad thing cause i spend my entire day there.maybe i shall just leave to go home early next time.so i don't have to let the world screw up my life.ya.i shall just do that.that is perfect.
ok.so that is what is happening in my life if you want to know.it sucks.life doesn't make sense anymore.i should just dedicate my life to dancing.why didn't i take the offer to go to france.why didn't i leave with my uncle.why did i stay.i guess i will miss this place when i go.ya.maybe.and sometimes i think back about things that happened.i feel like punching myself in the stomach.why didn't i just accept it.why couldn't i forgive.why couldn't i this,why couldn't i that.makes no sense anymore,ya?it's over.
Don't be sad that it is over,but be happy that it happened.=)
i guess this is what everyone is telling me.
o just SCREW it.
FASHION DECLERATION ;
11:00 PM
